Whoever says parenting is easy LIES! It is not easy. And, one of the hardest and most frustrating parts is the fact that you don't know the outcome until 20 years down the line! That's a lot of investment and a long time to find out if you messed up or not.
If the kids are having trouble with friends do I say something or ignore it? If I say something, does that draw attention to it and make it worse? If I ignore it, is that silently saying, "It's ok" (if they hurt your feelings..or you hurt theirs) ...thereby, making it worse?
How much parental guidance is just that, guidance, and how much is being a "helicopter" parent? Is being a "helicopter" parent bad? Is being an absent parent better? Is there a balance in between? How do you know where that balance is?
If I don't feed my children organically grown, antioxidant rich, good for you food ALL the time, will they question their up bringing later in life?
What form of discipline REALLY works? Time out? Taking things away? Grounding? Extra chores? And, if NONE of those work, what do I do?
When two of them are fighting with the, "Alora" "Arionna" back and forth, do I say something? Yes, it is a life lesson, but since it is a LESSON isn't it my job to teach them how to work these situations out?
Does my child need to have play dates every other day to be successful socially? Or, can I be my true self and just be a hermit?
When they are sick, or injured, how much sympathy is too much? How much extra leeway do you give?
I honestly think there is no black and white in parenting. There are only differing shades of gray. What works for one parent may not work for me...and vise versa. What works for one child, may not work for another. What works in one life stage may not work in the next stage.
I sometimes wish you could pinpoint the "what went wrong" in parenting when you see a parent dealing with a difficult child. I think, "If I knew the mistake they made, I would make sure I didn't make it, too!" But, as a good friend pointed out, I may not make *that* mistake, but I am bound to make others.
All I know is, I probably should just scrap the college funds and start investing in future counseling instead.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Friday, August 6, 2010
(Neverending) Drive to WY
My grandparents celebrate their birthdays 4 days apart. This year, my grandma and grandad celebrated their 89th birthday!!! Of course, the girls and I had to come up to spend some time with them! If it hadn't been this VERY special reason for our trip, we probably would have turned around and went home as soon as we entered WY!
Yesterday morning Kaylee reminded me that her headphones had broke. Can't drive 5 hours without music to listen to. And, I didn't want to have to listen to her playing her DS, so headphones were a must. I agreed to take her to Target. On the way home, I noticed the tire pressure light had come on. We looked at the tires and none were noticeably flat. I figured we would drive home and have Chance take a look. He couldn't tell which tire it was either. His thoughts were the same as mine..take the van to Big O and have them look at it.
Got it there and they said it would be 45 minutes to an hour...so much for leaving at 10am...it was already 10am.
It was indeed 11 by the time they finished, but it was a well spent hour. I found Kaylee a prom dress for next year for $20!!!! and there was a screw in the tire. If we had not noticed the light before leaving, we would have been stuck along I-25 somewhere.
Get home, get the rest of the stuff ready, and in the car...it is almost noon by the time we hit the road.
Get about 1/2 hour from home and see an electronic sign that says "I-25 closed ahead due to accident, use alternate route." Since this is not an area we frequent often, I didn't know an alternate route. So, I called Chance. He can't find anywhere it says the road is closed. By the time he finds the info I need, I have passed the last exit before the accident. So, we sit in traffic and join the rest of the cars exiting. The detour really wasn't too bad. About 3 miles of small town Colorado. It was good thing Chance had given me directions, because there were no markings for the detour.
Finally make it to Cheyenne after 1pm and stop at the rest area for lunch. Get out food for the girls and realize, my lunch was not packed. Kaylee had gotten it ready while I was dealing with the tire, and she had forgotten mine. So, I headed to the McD's drive through (oh, delicacy...not!). After eating, ask Kaylee if she wants to drive now, or wait until we get to Wheatland. She said she didn't care, so I moved to the passenger seat. That is when Kaylee noticed she had left something behind...her purse...with her permit. So, no driving for her.
I drove the rest of the way.
Made good time until we got to the Campbell County line. Then, construction flagger. They had everyone pulled over onto the shoulder. Found out why about 15 minutes later...the bed of a haul truck was being transported on the back of a flat bed truck. For those of you not familiar with a haul truck, they are LARGE! When I drove them at the coal mine, they were the size of a single story house. That is small compared to the trucks of today. The bed of this truck took up the ENTIRE road! Wouldn't want to meet that wide load on a hill!
Finally, it was our turn to go. It took over an hour to drive the 20 miles to Wright. Stopped at the rest area and there was a LINE for the bathroom! The town of Wright only has about 1,200 people. I have never seen a line 6 deep for the bathroom.
Leave Wright and make great headway. We follow a grass fire truck that is headed into Gillette for the fire meeting and he is moving. Decide to take the "short cut" to mom's house rather than go through town. Great idea, until we turn onto Highway 50 and see...another construction flagger!!! Get stopped for another 5-10 minutes. Finally make it to my mom's street, and her neighbor across the street is moving things from one pick-up to another. So, he is stopped in the MIDDLE of the road...completely blocking my mom's driveway.
Make it and eat dinner...at 7pm. We would have been here by 5:30pm...6 at the absolute latest.
Then, this morning, wake up to no water. There is a water break a few streets down. We are meeting my bf from growing up at the Chinese Buffet (the girls INSIST that we eat there every time we visit) and then we are going to the county fair. Please let it be better than yesterday and the start of today!
Yesterday morning Kaylee reminded me that her headphones had broke. Can't drive 5 hours without music to listen to. And, I didn't want to have to listen to her playing her DS, so headphones were a must. I agreed to take her to Target. On the way home, I noticed the tire pressure light had come on. We looked at the tires and none were noticeably flat. I figured we would drive home and have Chance take a look. He couldn't tell which tire it was either. His thoughts were the same as mine..take the van to Big O and have them look at it.
Got it there and they said it would be 45 minutes to an hour...so much for leaving at 10am...it was already 10am.
It was indeed 11 by the time they finished, but it was a well spent hour. I found Kaylee a prom dress for next year for $20!!!! and there was a screw in the tire. If we had not noticed the light before leaving, we would have been stuck along I-25 somewhere.
Get home, get the rest of the stuff ready, and in the car...it is almost noon by the time we hit the road.
Get about 1/2 hour from home and see an electronic sign that says "I-25 closed ahead due to accident, use alternate route." Since this is not an area we frequent often, I didn't know an alternate route. So, I called Chance. He can't find anywhere it says the road is closed. By the time he finds the info I need, I have passed the last exit before the accident. So, we sit in traffic and join the rest of the cars exiting. The detour really wasn't too bad. About 3 miles of small town Colorado. It was good thing Chance had given me directions, because there were no markings for the detour.
Finally make it to Cheyenne after 1pm and stop at the rest area for lunch. Get out food for the girls and realize, my lunch was not packed. Kaylee had gotten it ready while I was dealing with the tire, and she had forgotten mine. So, I headed to the McD's drive through (oh, delicacy...not!). After eating, ask Kaylee if she wants to drive now, or wait until we get to Wheatland. She said she didn't care, so I moved to the passenger seat. That is when Kaylee noticed she had left something behind...her purse...with her permit. So, no driving for her.
I drove the rest of the way.
Made good time until we got to the Campbell County line. Then, construction flagger. They had everyone pulled over onto the shoulder. Found out why about 15 minutes later...the bed of a haul truck was being transported on the back of a flat bed truck. For those of you not familiar with a haul truck, they are LARGE! When I drove them at the coal mine, they were the size of a single story house. That is small compared to the trucks of today. The bed of this truck took up the ENTIRE road! Wouldn't want to meet that wide load on a hill!
Finally, it was our turn to go. It took over an hour to drive the 20 miles to Wright. Stopped at the rest area and there was a LINE for the bathroom! The town of Wright only has about 1,200 people. I have never seen a line 6 deep for the bathroom.
Leave Wright and make great headway. We follow a grass fire truck that is headed into Gillette for the fire meeting and he is moving. Decide to take the "short cut" to mom's house rather than go through town. Great idea, until we turn onto Highway 50 and see...another construction flagger!!! Get stopped for another 5-10 minutes. Finally make it to my mom's street, and her neighbor across the street is moving things from one pick-up to another. So, he is stopped in the MIDDLE of the road...completely blocking my mom's driveway.
Make it and eat dinner...at 7pm. We would have been here by 5:30pm...6 at the absolute latest.
Then, this morning, wake up to no water. There is a water break a few streets down. We are meeting my bf from growing up at the Chinese Buffet (the girls INSIST that we eat there every time we visit) and then we are going to the county fair. Please let it be better than yesterday and the start of today!
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